When you're seasonally depressed AF

Hello darkness, our old friend.

Credit: Mehmet Uzut on Unsplash

Welcome to Solicited Advice, our weekly column that celebrates the helpfulness in health. Because in a world where strangers at the grocery store love to tell you that a specific brand of magnesium will indeed “cure” what ails you (it probably won’t, so sorry), we’re all about passing on our lived experience in a way that makes your life a little better. Are we experts? Nah, not really. But we’re great listeners who have perfected the art of pillow screaming. Let’s get into it!

I live in the U.S. and as the days get shorter and shorter, my seasonal depression is soaring to an all-time high. Any tips for how to keep it at bay?

Ash: When my mental health (read as: my bipolar disorder specifically) was untreated or particularly turbulent, I didn’t notice the down dip during the cold months. So when I say it’s a blessing and a curse to recognize that the winter months drag me down, know that it’s out of a place of stability that makes those falls feel so much worse — and that recognition has taken a lot of work to learn. Here’s the kicker: I’m going to prepare like hell and I know I’m still going to feel crappy some days. But some days are better than all days feeling dark, right? Here’s what I do to prepare for those chilly months:

• I increase the frequency of my meds checks/appointments with my mental health team. Last year we decided to try an antidepressant on top of my mood stabilizers and we already have that plan queued up for this year too.

• Break out my SAD lamp. I typically will add this into my workout in the morning. I usually put it right below the TV so my eyes are getting bathed by the light as I follow along.

• Accept that I’m not going to be as productive or feel as good as when the warm sunshine is on my skin. This one sucks and just takes a lot of practice, and some days it’s actually impossible (and that’s OK!).

An unofficial practice is to hug my dog. He knows he’s the best (and in the chilly months he’s also the warmest).

Kat: Is it just me or does seasonal depression really soar to new heights as you age? It’s not the colder weather that wraps its tendrils around me as much (I live in Michigan, so let’s hope not), but the ever-pressing darkness that instantly zaps my energy and good mood (or whatever feeling lingers right below contentment). The main thing I try and do is get up earlier than I normally would in the spring/summer since I am going to bed earlier — when my body allows for it, of course. Part of this is to trick my mind into thinking I have more time in the day, but the other part is taking advantage of the light as soon as it peeks out from its wispy sheets. I have more energy and lower pain levels in the morning, so when I get to embrace every single second of daylight, I feel less depressed, stuck, cranky, and deflated at the end of the day. One last tip? If the air is crisp or chilly, I’ll stand on my deck for a minute or two without a jacket on to wake myself up and come back into my body. I’m always surprised at how much of a little reset that is!

Jess: Just like I’m surprised every month when the premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) kicks in, and my regular major depressive disorder (MDD) turns up a notch or 12, seasonal affective disorder (SAD) surprises me every year (don’t you love how many acronyms there are?!). This year, the SAD kicked in early, with a little extra zest for funsies. There was a day or two between the PMDD lifting and the SAD kicking in, and it felt like having the rug ripped out from under me more than ever. The light at the end of the PMDD tunnel was snuffed out, and while I sat sobbing in a chair, my partner ordered a SAD lamp. I’m still trying to figure out how to best use it, and at this point, the best tools I have are the tools I struggle with the most: Taking the best care of myself that I can. Making sure I get enough sleep, take my meds and supplements, eat in a way that doesn’t piss off my body, move in a way that works for me, and increase the amount of time I spend in literal hot water (baths or showers, the water does help). Oh, and doing my best not to judge the absolute hell out of myself. I’m hoping the BFFs or y’all in the comments have some other ideas!

Skyler: While I’m having trouble thinking of a time when I wasn’t deeply affected by the change in seasons — particularly when Daylight Saving Time hits — my SAD took a more intense turn in the autumn of 2021.

(To be fair, all of my mental and physical illnesses flared up during this time, to say the least, but the SAD was like a, well, sad cherry on top of an already melting sundae.)

I distinctly remember sitting on the couch in my friend’s living room, across from these gorgeous large windows. As I gazed out of these windows (like a walking Abilify commercial, mind you), the sky became pitch black at a rate far faster than I remember it ever going before. I don’t think it could have been much later than 5 p.m., although I wouldn’t call fall 2021 me the most reliable narrator.

What I am sure of, however, is the sensation I felt when the sun went down and everything was plunged into darkness. It can only be described as a pang of anguish that I swear knocked the wind out of me. I experienced this feeling, followed by a deep sadness that ached in my bones. It was like I was grieving the day that had come and gone and panicking over how quickly time moves. This all became a painful “routine.”

Luckily, I was already working with an incredible psychiatrist through the partial hospitalization program I was attending at the time. During one of our check-ins, I tried to explain the distress I felt every night when it got dark. I told her I had a sun lamp I was already using sporadically throughout the day, but I didn’t think it was helping. What she said next changed everything. This doctor was the first medical professional — frankly, the first person — who taught me how to use the dang lamp properly! Here are the key takeaways:

• The sun lamp is most effective when used first thing in the morning. When you’re up for the day, turn the lamp on. The earlier the better. It may seem counterintuitive to use a sun lamp during the daytime, but I promise you it makes a world of difference.

• Place the lamp somewhere where the light can actually get into your eyes. This may sound obvious, but I can’t count the number of times I’ve forgotten I had the lamp on and walked away or changed position only 15 minutes into the treatment.

• But do not look directly into the lamp. Position the lamp so the light hits your eyes almost at a diagonal, and from a safe distance away. If your eyes hurt or you start seeing spots after looking at the lamp, it’s probably too close, too bright, and/or beaming at you too directly.

• Try to gradually work your way up to one to two hours of lamp time each day. It’s always better to start small than rush to your end goal and wind up hurting yourself. These days, I use my lamp (which is this one, by the way) on its middle setting and for two to three hours while I drink coffee, do some crossword puzzles, play a handheld video game, and work.

• Speaking of gradual, using the lamp won’t make things better overnight. Trust me, I wish treatments of any kind were that easy!

• It’s important to get natural light as well. Even while you’re using the lamp, keep your curtains open to welcome the natural daylight. This helps your body release those good wake-up hormones.

• Start using your lamp before you think you need it. You know that whole “don’t wear white after Labor Day” thing? (I don’t understand that “rule” either.) Well, do start using your sun lamp soon after Labor Day. “An ounce of prevention” and all that.

As with all things, your mileage may vary. No treatment is one-size-fits-all, especially in the world of psychiatry. Experiment with the lamp; try playing with the brightness, positioning, and timing, and talk to your treating provider if you have any questions or to come up with a course of action tailored to you and your needs.

And remember: After the winter solstice, the days get longer!

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