April Checkup
Here’s the tl;dr from Alive and (un)Well this month.
![[Month] Checkup graphic with pastel-colored TV, clipboard, and music notes](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!x9Fs!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Faa7b718d-e12a-4e53-8346-2b75b2725c45_1456x1048.heic "[Month] Checkup graphic with pastel-colored TV, clipboard, and music notes")
The Front Desk
No, you aren’t imagining things — we are indeed sending this a few days earlier than usual. We could make up a creative reason why, but the truth is, Jess has no concept of time and put the last week of April on our May editorial calendar, and we didn’t realize it until we were writing this. So we said, “You know what? Eff it, send it early!” What is time anyway, right?
Enjoy this early edition of the April Checkup! 😂
The Waiting Room
☀️ what made us feel alive
I’ve experienced some truly wonderful acts of kindness this month: a surprise pie drop-off, sweet snail mail, obscenely good sourdough (carrot cake!) muffins delivered to my porch, and a really thoughtful pre-surgery care package. Nothing buoys me more than being thought of, especially when I’ve been going through it. — BFF Kat
In short: Family. My mom and sister visited early in the month, my sister came back to visit again and we had a sister date night, and my baby niece has been delighting all of us on FaceTime courtesy of my brother and his partner. — BFF Jess
After arguing with my socially anxious brain, I convinced myself to take a photographer up on their spontaneous offer for a photoshoot in the tulips. I met up with her and another friend and we ended the evening at a spooky restaurant. I’ve been feeling a lot of pressure having spent so many photoshoots behind the camera lately, and it felt so good to leave it behind and exist on the other side of the lens for a little while. — BFF Ash
🫠 what made us feel (un)well
I think health admin might be the death of me. The number of calls I’ve had to make and receive, the virtual pile of pre-op and post-procedure paperwork, the nurses and providers and pharmacists I’ve had to chase down… my gut tells me I’ve spent at least 15 hours a week this month connecting all of the health care dots. The fact that surgery is the only reason I’m getting a few days off from all of that speaks volumes. — BFF Kat
I still haven’t managed to get the blood draw that I’ve been trying to get for months. They’re always booked but say walk-ins are welcome, so I’ll make it there only to find out they closed early or are too busy or or or… sigh. My hormones are wonky cuz perimenopause is fun, my last Invisalign tray took weeks longer than it should have, and the depression has been coming in waves. In other words, I kind of feel like a mess this month. — BFF Jess
While I’m generally stable, depressive episodes are bound to hit and I’ve been fighting one paired with extra anxiety due to overwhelm. I feel so grateful for the amount of abundance I’m experiencing right now, but it’s thrown my system in a bit of a freeze state that’s been difficult to trudge through. The good news is I don’t feel like I’m stuck in a hole, but I’m still having trouble shaking it off and it’s influencing all the things I need to be doing. — BFF Ash
📺 what we’re watching
“Dying for Sex” on FX (and Hulu): Loosely based on the true story of podcaster/writer Molly Kochan and her terminal cancer diagnosis, this limited series starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate is a story of friendship, death, and kink. While sexual exploration during end-of-life care is what dominates a good portion of the storyline (Rob Delaney, say no more!), it is a brilliantly acted catharsis of what it means to live while you are dying — minus the saccharine and platitudes. I laughed so much more than I was expecting, and I applaud how much the show didn’t shy away from the realities of palliative care, while also showing terminal patients as full, flawed people. It held joy and sorrow in equal measure, without a single ounce of shame. It’s not a watch for everyone, but the acting will stick with me for a very long time. — BFF Kat
“Avatar the Last Airbender” on Netflix: For some reason, I thought it’d be a good time to rewatch this classic animated show about how a group comes together to take down a greedy and corrupt leader. I don’t know why I felt it was so relevant and cathartic to watch a dictator fall. — BFF Ash
“Extracted” on Fox (and Hulu): I genuinely do enjoy reality TV (I think part of why I do is it’s really easy to follow on high-symptom days), but I’m still pretty picky on which ones I tune in for. I binged this show while recovering from my cervical epidural procedure earlier in the month and loved it. The basic premise is that there are groups of three people — primarily made up of family members — competing for a cash prize: one amateur survivalist (aka the person who is living in the wilderness with very minimal supplies or food) and two others who are living in the headquarters (aka the ones who have to make strategic decisions for or against their own survivalist). I truly expected the excitement of the show to come from the survivalist aspect of it, but I was mistaken. It’s all about the camaraderie, back-stabbing, and secret alliances in the headquarters, baby! If the earlier seasons of “Survivor” are your jam, I’d give this one a try. — BFF Kat
“Schitt’s Creek” on Hulu: I needed a comfort show I could turn on in the background and turn my brain off for a bit. This show is a BFF-approved favorite with characters that truly develop over its six seasons. It starts off absurd and turns into heartwarming as you find yourself genuinely rooting for the characters you love to hate at the start. — BFF Ash
📚 what we’re reading
“Promise Me Sunshine” by Cara Bastone: Ugh, I loved this book so much. While I’m a die-hard romance reader, I do tend to gravitate toward love stories with heavier themes. This one is no exception as it is deeply rooted in grief (you might be too tender to read it if you’re deep in the trenches of loss yourself), but it also delivers a beautiful romance without any pomp and circumstance. The angst is low and the character arcs are so nuanced that I was genuinely proud of the protagonists for their personal growth. I especially loved how the main female character’s depression shaped her personal appearance and hygiene habits. Plus, the Staten Island Ferry! K-pop fandom! A found family camping trip! A surprise talent show featuring a sassy kid! — BFF Kat
“The Cruel Prince” by Holly Black: Let’s start with a disclaimer: I haven’t actually started this yet but it’s cued up on my audiobook player. My fantasy community has been planning many group photoshoots with the characters from the series, so I’m diving in so I can hype up and appreciate the work going into their cosplays. If you’ve read the series, let me know your thoughts and who your favorite characters are! — BFF Ash
I’m rereading “Legendborn” by Tracy Deonn because the third book is out now and I like to reread the previous books when a new one comes out. (And also because I’m waiting for my library hold on the new one. 😆) — BFF Jess
🎧 what we’re listening to (courtesy of BFF Jess!)
“Talkin’ Bout a Revolution” by the one and only Tracy Chapman. I’ve been obsessed with her voice for as long as I can remember.
The special playlist my sister made for me on Apple Music. She titled it “That bitch right now and forever,” and it’s been a nice little reminder on the bad days.
“Revolutionary Visionary” by Bobby Sanchez — another one sent from a friend who knows me well.
🐇 what rabbit holes we’ve explored (courtesy of BFF Ash!)
I’ve been slowly updating my renaissance faire work fits so at events I can fit in to the shop’s theme, move around a lot, and make sure everything is snug and comfortable so I don’t need to adjust constantly. Since our theme is based on being dragon riders — the shop was originally inspired by “How to Train Your Dragon” — I’m looking to mix feminine styles with ones that look like I’m ready for a fight. I’ve been designing a cerulean chiton-inspired dress with a gold mirror scale mail breastplate and I’m in love with how they’re looking together.
I’ve also been working on chain mail jewelry — primarily earrings with swords and daggers on them — and I’ve been learning all the fancy weave patterns besides the basics you’d see on a chain shirt. A current favorite is the byzantine weave, I feel like it adds a touch of elegance that chain mail needs in jewelry form.
The Exam Room
Missed something from us this month? Here are a few of our faves!
Decision fatigue can take a hike (but here’s a wheely fun activity when it shows up)
We had a delightful time “confirming” our personality types via the most official source ever: Buzzfeed
BFF Jess reviewed these hemp-powered period patches
A quick round of red flag, green flag (health edition)
The fact that this was our most popular post in April speaks… volumes
BFF Ash is a project management icon, so this tracks
Same time next month?
Things we’re looking forward to in May: mountains of half-melted ice cream (the state it was meant to be eaten in, obvs), a sibling’s birthday, a trip with a friend, and dressing up like a fairy for a photo shoot (this one is specific to BFF Ash because if you think the rest of us could pull this off, you are sorely mistaken).
And, per usual, we’re stoked to bring you another month of content featuring topics like angerrrrrr, why chronic fatigue is the literal worst, and the 411 on pelvic floor therapy.