May Checkup

Here’s the tl;dr from Alive and (un)Well this month.

Graphic by BFF Ash Duskwood

The Front Desk

A peek behind the Alive and (un)Well curtain: We typically meet up via Zoom once a week to do a little writing, a lot of gabbing/venting, and editorial planning. But the past month has been quieter with BFF Kat’s surgery and BFF Jess’ travels (more on all of that below)… but now we’re all back in our routines and it feels goooood.

The absence from talking and meeting regularly was a well-timed reminder that friends who live with health conditions are both a necessity and a treasure in these complex lives of ours. It’s why we write what we write, so people who lead parallel existences can feel some semblance of camaraderie and “Oh, someone actually gets it.” Life’s too short to do this shit alone! (With that in mind, care to share us with a friend?)

As always, thanks for being here this month — you’re a delight and a half. Here’s what we’ve been up to!

The Waiting Room

☀️ what made us feel alive

• My entire May was dedicated to recovering from surgery, so all of my additions this month are intertwined. The positive? I did the damn thing! There’s truly no other feeling like pushing through the panic and fear leading up to a big surgery and then actually getting through it with no wild complications. I’m really proud of myself and would love to never do it again! (She says, knowing this is only surgery #1 of a two-stage ordeal, but a girl can dream.) — BFF Kat 

• After a year of planning, I went to London and Edinburgh with one of my best friends and we had an absolutely incredible time! Leading up to the trip, we were both concerned about our health and the various conditions and symptoms we both live with. We took our needs into account while planning, and it worked out beautifully. We were able to do a lot more walking than expected, I was able to eat food I wouldn’t usually be able to eat at home (presumably due to the UK’s food standards), and overall, our bodies were very happy — and so were we! — BFF Jess

• During last month’s Checkup I mentioned I was looking forward to dressing up as a fairy for a photoshoot, so I’m back with the receipts. I portrayed the Forget-Me-Not Fairy, and I created this reel to show how everyone interpreted their flower fairy of choice! — BFF Ash

---

🫠 what made us feel (un)well

• It’s pretty self-explanatory, but recovering from surgery is not fun. And while I can dark humor my way through pretty much anything, I’m not shy about the toll surgery takes on the human body. Weeks and weeks of pain, disrupted sleep, and cognitive fog that would knock anyone to outer space. — BFF Kat

• Explaining to a TSA agent what a foam roller is, how and why I use it, and why I was taking it on an international trip. See also: pain patches, a ridiculous-to-healthy-people amount of meds, and so on. Also realizing how much the ableist culture in the U.S. has screwed up my body image and feelings about asking for what I need. — BFF Jess

• I’ve been feeling like I have all the time in the world while feeling like I have no time at all. In the wise words from “Avatar the Last Airbender” said by Huu, “Time is an illusion,” which has felt so true as of late. Mostly I’ve just felt disoriented and unable to grasp how long tasks or activities are going to take. I’m working on rebuilding all the pieces of my routine that helps me feel my best so fingers crossed it helps in this regard too. — BFF Ash

  ---

📺 what we’re watching

• “Happy Face” on Paramount+: I watched more TV this past month than I have in years (surgery with a lot of restrictions will do that to you!), and was pleasantly surprised by a few of my binge-watching choices. This limited series featuring Annaleigh Ashford and Dennis Quaid was one of them. It’s loosely based on the famed “Happy Face” serial killer, Keith Jesperson, and his daughter, Melissa Moore. I loved the pacing of the show, though I’d exercise caution if mentions of sexual assault are particularly triggering for you. — BFF Kat

• “Andor” on Disney+: Season two recently wrapped and I cannot say enough good things about the show. While I did not grow up a Star Wars kid and it’s only been in the last 10 years that I’ve seen most* (*yes, I have seen the Christmas special) related media, I can confidently say it’s some of the best Star Wars out there right now. And uh, boy does this season in particular really feel like it hits close to home politically these days. — BFF Ash

• “Hunting Party” on Peacock: I feel for how I’ll be perceived when I say I watched another show revolving around serial killers this month, but hey, this is a safe space, right? Each episode focuses on a different killer (they manage to keep the character arcs super fresh) that escaped/survived the explosion of a secret underground prison. It’s a violent but incredibly gripping watch (and just got renewed for a second season). — BFF Kat

---

📚 what we’re reading

• I reread “Legendborn” this month, and am now rereading “Bloodmarked.” The third book in the Legendborn Cycle was just released in March and Tracy Deonn is a brilliant writer and worldbuilder, so I wanted to fully immerse myself in the world again! — BFF Jess

• “Fan Service” by Rosie Danan: This was such a campy, unrealistic romp and I ate up every single crumb. At its core, it’s a love letter to fandoms of the early 2000/2010s — especially “Teen Wolf” folks and comic con loyalists — but it’s a sweet and snarky love story with some paranormal nonsense (I say that lovingly) thrown in. — BFF Kat

---

🎧 what we’re listening to

• I’ve become obsessed with Hildegard Von Blingin’ and her medieval or bardcore covers of popular songs. I originally heard her version of Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club” which is appropriately renamed “Pink Pony Inn,” but her version of “Paint It Black” is one of my favorites. — BFF Ash

---

🐇 what rabbit holes we’ve explored

• Coffee, books, and rescue dogs are three of my absolute favorite things. So during my recovery, I found myself glued (metaphorically) to the edge of my seat (literally) when I stumbled across Brooklyn-based foster legend Isabel Klee. She routinely posts daily updates on her current rescue pup — she tends to take on harder cases, like medically complex dogs or ones who have been through trauma — and her most recent foster, Tiki, has taken the internet by storm (there is merch!). He reminds me so much of my dog, Doxon, who took many weeks to even approach or show interest in toys. Each of her foster’s has their own dedicated highlights at the top of her profile, and if you need to go down a wholesome social media rabbit hole, let it be hers! — BFF Kat

• I do not enjoy cooking, or the act of making food and requiring to eat to live. It’s exhausting. Why do I have to do it every day, several times a day?! HOWEVER, I love certain foods that I can no longer order in or eat at a restaurant due to being celiac. I recently started making my own chicken wings and I wish I did it earlier because I almost cried at how good it was to have a food I missed so much. — BFF Ash

The Exam Room

Missed something from us this month? Here are a few of our faves!

• Apparently we’re a fatigued crew because this was our most-read piece this month

• BFFs Ash and Kat share their (hopefully wise) thoughts about trauma anniversaries

• How do you plan for the future amidst uncertainty?

• BFF Jess is a gift to disabled humankind with her advice around disaster preparedness

• A footwear rec for folks with plantar fasciitis

• BFF Skyler treated us to resources such as pelvic floor 101 and deciphering prescriptions

• Plus, a customizable template for tracking whatever your heart desires!

Same time next month?

We always try to pick writing topics inspired by our own health experiences, but sometimes that can feel like a bit of an echo chamber. So, we’re curious, what topics would you love to read about or get advice on this summer? Feel free to leave a comment or DM us on Substack directly.

Enjoy the sunshine wherever the world is lucky to have you, and drink your water because you’re a complicated houseplant worthy of daily nurturing. K bye!