18 Comments
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Skyler Gailing's avatar

I'm being 100% genuine when I say that I look forward to learning more from you, Kat. You've taught me so much about respecting myself, being a better human being, the beauty of the em dash, how to find humor in the least likely places, and how to embrace vulnerability while maintaining strong boundaries. (OK, and a million more things, but I'm already rambling.)

Things have been tough, but I'm going to try to join the wonderful folks here who have been sharing their own lists:

1. One day I want to take my mom to Italy so she can see where her family is from. And get real gelato and amazing espresso, of course.

2. There's so much advocacy work to be done! These days I'm trying to channel my energy into causes such as headache disorders, TB, and preserving funding for Medicaid, USAID, the NIH, etc.

3. I want to see where Monet painted his water lily series in person.

4. I love keeping up with every new season of Dimension 20.

5. Which reminds me, I have to see what happens during the rest of the D&D campaign I'm playing in!

6. That feeling of hugging the people (and pets) you care about (if they are OK with it, of course) for an extended period of time — especially after a long time apart. There's that silent moment where your breath syncs up and it's lovely. I also love saying and hearing the phrase "Not done!"

7. Running into the cold ocean while fully clothed on a whim.

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Krista (she/her/goddess)'s avatar

To be matron of honour at my Mom’s wedding in October (and give the Toast to the Bride).

I don’t want to leave my husband to grieve me.

To hear the songbirds return and fill the air with joyful noise.

To maybe see a cure for MECFS happen, even if it’s too late to help me.

To have my sister move closer so we can spend more time together.

To watch our grandchildren grow up.

To celebrate the successes of our sons and daughters-in-laws.

To exist.

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Kat Harrison's avatar

A love-forward list, with so much meaning. I’m so glad you exist, Krista.

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Hannah Harder, Eco-advocacy's avatar

Tomorrow is a new day.

It may not always be this bad. Healing (even if it’s only mental) will come in unexpected ways.

Your people need you here.

This planet is full of so many exquisite things you haven’t seen.

Your worst days are going to be a light to someone else.

The world needs your light. ⚡️

Your story isn’t finished; this is a chapter. 📚

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Hannah Harder, Eco-advocacy's avatar

Also I am sorry you are in such a hard place. Sending strength and courage❤️

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Kat Harrison's avatar

Beautiful sentiments. Thanks for sharing with me, Hannah.

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Kira Stoops's avatar

Such a good one. I would wager 100% of seriously unwell people have at least passively thought, I need this pain/malaise/misery to END.

My 10:

1) I love my parents too much to not see them grow into cute old people

2) Dammit, I want to be alive to see the cure to ME/CFS and associated diseases, even if I'm 82

3) I want to giggle more with my sister (and bro and friends and randos)

4) There are $10 single origin dark chocolate bars that haven't even been invented yet and I need to try them

5) I have a big handwritten thank you note to write to one special aunt yet

6) On one rare good day this week, I got to loll around for hours in the steam and snowfall of our local hotsprings with my partner, and it was truly transcendent...I want more moments like that

7) Decaf espresso tastes too good to leave behind

8) I'm seeing Book of Mormon with my parents this spring!

9) I want to leave behind an even bigger, more transformative legacy project in my work-work

10) I want to know WHY and HOW these diseases came to be—won't rest without knowing why I spent my whole life in pain

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Skyler Gailing's avatar

Thank you for sharing your wonderful list! And for pursuing answers to these questions about conditions that affect so. many. people. I also wanted to respond to your list to say that the Book of Mormon is phenomenal and worth all of the hype and then some. I saw the touring company with my dad back in 2014 and WOW.

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Hannah Harder, Eco-advocacy's avatar

I think I may have ME/CFS too, but much better than a few years ago

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Kat Harrison's avatar

This. List. Is. Everything. I love how it’s a balance of big and small things, with empowered advocacy throughout. So honored you shared!

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Musings Of Leslie Moose's avatar

To see how big my kitten grows to be as an adult

To watch my tulips bloom

To finish my master's degree

To enjoy fresh Palisade peaches

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Kat Harrison's avatar

Oh my gosh, so so much to stick around for. Congrats on getting to this point with your masters — I’m sure you’ll continue to bloom, just like those tulips.

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Sarah's avatar

To make it to cherry season

I try to preorder books and forget by the time they arrive

My favorite greasy old fashioned drive in just reopened

My 4 year old

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Kat Harrison's avatar

I love these so much. Cherries are so versatile! Books are elite! Drive-ins are nostalgic! And kids are the best. 🫶

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Christina Van Dyke's avatar

Thank you for sharing this list - I’m really struck by the shift in perspective helps combat the shame/guilt! Will be working this into my regular rotation of practices. ❤️

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Kat Harrison's avatar

My pleasure. I think that’s often where suicide prevention discourse goes wrong — we are constantly told to “hang on for others,” but really… we need to do that for ourselves. And that can look like a million different things! 💖

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Christina Van Dyke's avatar

Exactly! It’s such an expansive and creative way to respond to the dark days

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