March Checkup
Here’s the tl;dr from Alive and (un)Well this month.
The Front Desk
Spring has sprung (what does that even mean?!) and we’re here with our ode to March. It’s been a rough month for all of us internally, and looking out at the world, that seems to be the case for a lot of us. If you’re white-knuckling your way through life too, hey friend, we see you. 👋
Oh! And in honor of ushering in a new season of growth, we’re adding two new sections to the top of this monthly roundup that are a nod to our namesake. What made you feel alive and/or (un)well this month? Sound off in the comments!
P.S. Today is BFF Kat’s birthday, and if you read our most recent Solicited Advice column, you’ll know she doesn’t like to make a big deal out of it — but, if you have some to spare, any and all good vibes into the ether would do her heart a world of good.
The Waiting Room
☀️ what made us feel alive
The time change. I honestly have never been so thrilled to have more daylight later in the day than I have been this year. I’ve already noticed a change in my motivation, sleep schedule, and energy levels. — BFF Kat
Not to be a copycat, but I love the extra sunlight. I spend a lot of time in our “sunroom” even during the winter, because I need as much sunlight as I can get, and it especially helps on days that are long computer days. Which means I noticed the increasing sunlight a little more than I might have otherwise, but the time change felt like flipping a switch and I really needed it this year. — BFF Jess
Unsurprisingly, my answer is also sunlight! However, what I’ll also add on, is actually being outside. I have no temperature regulation (thanks thyroid-less body), so I go past shivering straight to convulsing in the winter. Now I can go outside, even if I need a few layers, and breathe in that fresh air alongside the sunlight. — BFF Ash
🫠 what made us feel (un)well
For anyone who’s been following along with the slow death of my right ear, my medical team and I ultimately decided to split the surgery into two stages since I'm high risk for a few complications. The first surgery has officially been scheduled for next month (the 25th) and when I say that my anxiety has me in a chokehold… I am not exaggerating. — BFF Kat
Speaking of anxiety… mine decided to take me for a riiiiiide this month — in all honesty, it’s been getting worse for a while, but I was “regular people sick” for so long and between my visit to the ER plus two more with my son plus one for my mom and another for my sister, and all sorts of family stuff going on — it was easy to dismiss my increasing anxiety as part of that. This month came complete with some extra “emergency” therapy sessions, and ultimately, an appointment with my primary care doctor to explore meds again. I started an anti-anxiety med last week. Cross your fingers for me? — BFF Jess
To put in plainly: money. Finances have been tight because of inconsistent work and I cycle between despair, anxiety, and acceptance — sometimes within a few minutes of each other. I feel a lot of shame when I can’t cover bills and I need to ask my partner for assistance, even though we’ve talked about it countless times and there’s no bad feelings there. I just want the feeling of stability, and I’m hoping April brings that with a few new opportunities that may possibly be coming my way. 🤞— BFF Ash
📺 what we’re watching
“Running Point” on Netflix: I haven’t been able to watch much lately, but after a really awful week this show was a nice break and a relatively easy watch. I just wish there were more episodes out already! — BFF Jess
“Adolescence” on Netflix: This British limited crime series, where each of the four episodes was shot in one take, has been the talk of pop-culture faithfuls this month, and while I don’t always follow what’s trending in the TV world (“White Lotus,” who?), the reviews I skimmed had sucked me in. To be crystal clear, this show is an absolutely brutal watch centered around the murder of a minor. But honestly? It wasn’t the plot that gripped me, because you know exactly where it’s going to go in the first 20 minutes. Instead, it was the subject matter — toxic masculinity, social media, parental responsibility — and the absolute raw display of emotion that splits you in half. It’s the quiet after the psychologist finishes her interview that’ll shake you, and it’s the primal sob from a parent in his child’s room that’ll break you. This is not a show to multitask during — it is one to watch with both eyes wide open (if your mental health is up for it, of course).
“Mario Party March” on Patreon: Some of my favorite creators who I’ve followed this past decade currently produce The Regulation Podcast along with a plethora of other silly, easy-to-consume content. This month they’ve decided to play a round of “Mario Party,” which they set to 30 turns, and are doing one turn each day for the full month. It is full of betrayal, victory, and smugness as the players try to one-up each other. And P.S., even though it’s on Patreon, this content is free with sign up, so no money necessary if the silliness seems up your alley! — BFF Ash
🎧 what we’re listening to (courtesy of BFF Jess!)
“KIDS IN the CAGES,” The Neighborhood Kids: One of my favorite types of music isn’t genre-specific but more theme-specific. Namely “rage against injustice.” A good friend sent me this one (to be loved is to be known, right?).
“Troubled Waters,” Alex Warren: I found Alex on TikTok (as so many of us did) and I really enjoy his voice, lyrics, and the music itself. This particular one has been playing in the background of my head lately, so I listen to it at least once a day.
How to Survive the End of the World with adrienne maree brown and Autumn Brown. Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m actually not a big podcast fan in general. That said, I am a big fan of adrienne maree brown, so I started listening to this and am really enjoying it.
“Time,” NF: Again, the lyrics, the voice, the musicality.
🎮 what we’re playing (courtesy of BFF Ash!)
I love logic and puzzle games, and they’re something I do daily. I like to think they keep my brain sharp, but I think my brain just enjoys them. Recently I discovered Meow Tower: Nonogram. It involves nonogram puzzles — which are logic puzzles — using a grid and numbers to reveal an image. As you beat levels you are rewarded with cans of tuna which you can use to buy room keys for cats to move into your tower and furnish their spaces. All the cats have different personalities and the dialogue is adorable. The best part is the game is ad-free! It’s also free-to-play, but has a limited number of levels you can do before it refills — some may find this annoying, but it actually forces me to step away from the game if I find myself getting too sucked in. You can download it on Android and Apple devices!
Have you heard of Jomswikinger? While it roughly translates to “blind Viking chest touch smash game,” the best term for it is fish slap. The game is simple: Two players are blindfolded and place a hand on a table or chest placed between them — they can move around but must keep that hand on. They each have a stuffed fish in hand (and yes, in Viking times, it would have been real fish), and the goal is to slap each other with them during their turn. To start a turn, the first player must ask, “May I slap you with my fish?” and the second must respond, “Yes.” The first player then gets one swing while the second attempts to dodge it. I’ve seen people go from standing to horizontal in 0.3 seconds with impressive grace. I work at a Viking booth so it’s always amusing to take a little break and slap my friends with some fishes!
🐇 what rabbit holes we’ve explored
I opened my photography business back in the fall so I have a new layer of complexity to add into my taxes this year. My entire life I’ve heard how difficult taxes are, so I’ve always used a software that did most of the work for me. I’ve heard similar gripes about paperwork — which is something I don’t love — but I don’t find it as dreadful as others do, so I decided to actually look into them without the aid of a service in the hopes of having a better understanding. I’m surprised to find it easier than I had worked up in my head — though of course tedious and thank goodness for my ability to keep records — and it’s just a reminder I need to stop listening to society because my brain works a bit differently. — BFF Ash
I’ve never really classified myself as having a sweet tooth, but I will defend sour gummy candy until the ends of the earth. In an effort to change up my cravings and make something I could whip up at home, I’ve been spending way too much time figuring out what I could stuff a boatload of medjool dates with. While my hunt for pistachio butter came up empty (I yearn to put my own spin on the Dubai chocolate bar!), I settled for some cookie dough granola butter. In case you’re curious where I landed: Split open a date and remove the pit, stuff with nut butter or spread of your choosing, melt dark chocolate with a little bit of coconut oil, pour over the top of your dates, sprinkle with sea salt or chopped nuts, and pop in the fridge until set (give it a few hours). Listen, it may not change your life, but it will sweeten up your day. — BFF Kat
The Exam Room
Missed something from us this month? Here are a few of our faves!
BFF Ash put a spring twist on a to-do list
BFF Kat bared her soul in two essays about redefining hope and passive suicidality
We asked ourselves the important question: WTF is rest?!
Our most popular piece from March was about quitting a job because of your health
Fantasy fans, this one’s for you
Social media feels a lot like 😬 these days, but is there a bright side?
Same time next month?
Quick announcement: In some of our emails, you’ll notice that we added a tip jar button at the bottom. Shout-out to the reader — you know who you are! — who recommended we make one for folks who want to support our publication but can’t afford a monthly or annual subscription. We do this work from a place of advocacy, emotion, friendship, and community-building, but payment of any kind is deeply felt and greatly appreciated. We’re always so grateful when you’ve chosen to spend your time and energy with us!
Love this new format! (And Tristan recently made Dubai chocolate-inspired cookies, Kat, and they are *chef's kiss.* I'll see if she actually has a recipe I can share!)